Out of the mouth of my babe

A few things Biscuit has said recently:


Who's on first? Which one is John Hess and which one is John Wayne? Jeff asked.

"What?" Biscuit asked.

"Which one is which?" Jeff asked.

"No, Dad," Biscuit said. "There's no witch. Just cowboys"


He can count: Biscuit was walking around the living room sniffling, so I told him to go get a tissue. He came back with two tissues.

"Why do you need two tissues?" I asked Biscuit. "You only have one nose."

"Yeah, but it has two holes," Biscuit said.

He has a point, I guess.


He has his standards: Biscuit and I were in a store the other evening as it was getting close to dinnertime. And Biscuit was getting whiny.

"Mom," Biscuit said in the most exasperated tone you can imagine. "Is this going to take FOREVER?!?"

"Yes," I said. "This is going to take forever. We will never, ever leave this store."

"Mooooom," Biscuit said.

"I'm going as fast as I can, but you're going to have to be patient," I told Biscuit.

He started to cheer up when he realized we were heading to the check out.

As I put my stuff on the counter, I realized that Biscuit, feeling a little more playful, was making faces at me. The cashier saw him, too.

"Are you being a Silly Billy?" she said.

Biscuit looked at me then turned his head away from the cashier.

It was really unusual for Biscuit not to talk to the cashier, especially because she was asking him questions. Usually, that's his cue to launch into a full-fledged conversation.

I finished my purchase, then as I was pushing to buggy away from the counter, I asked Biscuit why he wasn't talking to the cashier. "Are you being shy?" I asked.

I think ... or I should say I HOPE ... that the buggy was far enough away from the cashier that she didn't hear what Biscuit said.

"Mom, there are people I like, and there are people I don't like," Biscuit said.

"Why don't you like her?" I asked, very surprised.

"She called me silly," Biscuit said in a very serious tone. "I might be funny, but I'm not silly."

Alrighty then!

I honestly had no idea what to say, so I just stumbled my way through what I hope was an appropriate response.

"Well, you're not always going to like everybody, but you have to like people until they give you a reason NOT to like them," I said. "Okay?"

"Okay, Mom," Biscuit said.

That woman shouldn't have called him silly!