Out of the mouth of my babe

A few things Biscuit has said recently:


Ocean words: Biscuit and I were looking at a book about the ocean, and I had to stifle at least a couple of laughs.

The first one was on a page where an aquarium employee was doing some maintenance on an exhibit.

"Do you know what that is, Mom?" Biscuit asked. "That is a scupa diver. He can go under the water and breathe using his air tanks."

That's not a typo. He said "scupa."

Then we saw a picture of a beach with birds flying around.

"MOM!" Biscuit said. "We saw some of those at the beach! They're called sea dolls."

"You mean sea gulls?" I asked him.

"No," he said, "sea DOLLS." 


Chauffeur: Sometimes when we're getting ready to go somewhere, I'll hand the keys to Biscuit and ask him, "Do you want to drive?"

And he'll say, in a very exasperated voice, "Moooom, I can't drive. I don't know how."

"Well, I'll have to teach you sometime," I'll tell him.

Well, my promise came back to haunt me last week. Biscuit and I were on our way home, and he said to me, "Mom, if you teach me to drive, I can take us all over the place."

"Well, you have to be 16 to drive," I told him.

"Oh," he said, but I could see the wheels turning. "So how far is it to 16?"

"Let's count it," I said. "You're 4 now. Then next you'll be what?"

"5, then 6, then 7 ..." and he counted all the way to 16. "Whoa! That's a lot of years!"


Cool moves: When Biscuit hears a dance-worthy song on the radio, he'll ask Jeff and me, "Do you want to see my cool moves?"

And of course we say we do.

Yesterday evening, I was trying to get Biscuit to show his cool moves to Grandma and Grandpa. But he was stalling.
 
After Biscuit thought about it for a while, he said, "Mom, I only do it on Saturdays and Mondays." 

"So you won't dance?" I asked.

"I'm just tired to doing cool moves ALL the time," he said.


Biscuit's brother: Sometimes Biscuit will come up with names for his animals or firefighters or other toys, and you always wonder how he comes up with them.

We just recently figured out where his imaginary brother's name came from -- one of the cartoon shows he watches. Of all the names on all the TV shows he's seen, he decided that his imaginary brother's name would be Monty.

Sometimes Monty gets blamed for things (sometimes I think Monty is quite innocent). Sometimes Biscuit goes to visit Monty in the land where he lives. Monty is a very versatile young man. He has had all kinds of jobs, and he knows a lot about a lot of things. 

We're usually reminded how much Monty knows when Biscuit is trying to contradict something we say.

He was talking to Grandma tonight about how many kids a school bus will hold. Grandma said her bus would hold 66 kids. But Biscuit didn't like that answer, even though he's never even been on a bus.

"Well, in the land where Monty lives, the school buses will hold 95 kids!" Biscuit said.

Just out of curiosity, I asked Biscuit if Monty was a real person.

"Um, he's just a pretend person," Biscuit said. "But Monty, he'll be coming to our house in a jippy."

"In a jippy?" I asked.

"Yes," he said. "That means he's coming in just a little while.


Icky food: On the way to dinner tonight, we were talking about vegetarians and vegans and how none of us think we could be either one.

My mother-in-law was saying that some people use tofu in place of meat. Biscuit shot me a look then said, "Eeeew! I don't like toad food OR frog food!"