Monday, May 9, 2011

The taste of victory

Last year, when Biscuit was in the toddler room, he bit a little girl in his class. This didn't set off any alarm bells to me because at that age, it happens. Griffin was on the receiving end more than once, too.

Kids that age are getting more and more teeth, and their mouths hurt. So they chew on things and bite things. And unfortunately, sometimes they chew and bite on each other.

The thing that made this particular incident worth mentioning is that the teacher in the class was new, and she told me that Biscuit bit a little girl. And she told me in front of the little girl's mother. That is a big no-no. You never tell the parent of the bitee who the biter was. The kids forgive and forget almost immediately, but unfortunately, parents don't.

And that's what happened. The mother of that little girl wouldn't speak to me anymore. It's been about a year, and she has still been holding a grudge.

Biscuit's day care had a Mother's Day lunch for us Friday, so I went there on my lunch break from work. The lady who does the cooking made some really good lasagna, and they served salad, bread and an apple pie. I got Biscuit from his class, and he was all excited about us eating together. I fixed our plates, then I looked around the room to find a place to sit.

Do you remember that feeling in high school when you get your lunch tray and then you have to find a place to sit? And there's a table of smart kids, a table of athletic kids, a table of band kids, etc. Well, that's how I felt.

There was a table full of women who have babies in the infant room. Then there were the 3-year-olds' moms. And then I saw a table with two seats open. And who should be sitting at that table but last year's bitee and her mom.

I walked over and put mine and Biscuit's plates down. I got Biscuit all settled in his seat and got us drinks. Then as I sat down, I said hello and asked the mom how she was doing. "Fine," she said in a very short tone. And that was it.

All I could think was how ridiculous it was that she wouldn't talk to me, and that she should act like the grown adult she is and get over herself. All kids bite, and if the teacher in that class hadn't been new, that mom would never have known Biscuit was the biter.

So I started talking to her. I asked her some open-ended questions so she'd have to answer me. And I talked to the little girl. I kept making that mom talk to me until it was time for her to go back to work.

And guess what? In that time, I won her over. As she was leaving, she smiled at me, wished me a Happy Mother's Day and said she'd see me later.

Biscuit and I were left at the table by ourselves, so we finished our lunch, and I took him back to his classroom just in time for naptime. What was really comforting to me was that Biscuit laid down on his cot, I covered him with a blanket, he told me he loved me and closed his eyes. No crying. No whining. No drama. His teacher said that wasn't the case with some of the other kids, so to me, that was a sign that Biscuit feels safe and comfortable there.

Anyway, the food we had was so good, I had to go to the kitchen and hug the cook. She's a sweet lady, so I wanted to make sure to compliment the chef.

One thing I didn't tell the cook was that I had something sweeter than her apple pie for dessert. After my lasagna and salad, I enjoyed the taste of victory.

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Update (5/10): I saw the bitee's mom at day care this morning for the first time since our chat. And I'm happy to report that she was very friendly to me. Now that Biscuit has a mouthful of teeth, maybe his biting days are over.

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