The Question ... and my answer

"When are you going to give Biscuit a little brother or sister?"

That's a question I get a lot these days. And people don't mean anything by it. It's pretty obvious to most people that Jeff and I are enjoying being parents, so it's a natural assumption that if we like having one kid, we'd like having more.

But since I couldn't get pregnant again, it's been a little tricky trying to answer those kinds of questions. Not to mention that I'm still pretty sad and mad and disappointed about the whole thing. 

I still having frequent dreams about babies. Sometimes I wake up thinking it's real. And that's hard to deal with, especially when you're staring a well-meaning person in the face trying to answer a question that sometimes makes you cry.

So for my own well-being, I practiced until I came up with what I think is a very suitable answer when people ask me about a second child.

It's a tricky thing. If you just say, "I couldn't get pregnant again," it puts people in an awkward position. They don't know what to say. And Job No. 1 as a Southern woman is to make people feel at ease. (Or at least that's what my Southern DNA tells me!)

If you try to avoid answering the question, without thinking, some people will rephrase the question and ask again.

"So do you WANT more children?" they'll ask.

And I want to say, "YES! We want more. But I can't get pregnant, and we can't afford the tens of thousands of dollars it takes to adopt a healthy child, and Jeff told me I'm not allowed to take children away from people I think are bad parents."

Yeah, now that I type that out, it might seem a tad harsh as an answer to a harmless question.

So after going over and over it in my head, when people ask about a second child, I now say to them, "Well, we tried to have another baby and it didn't work. So we're just going to be thankful we got Biscuit."

I think it works. It answers the question without making anyone feel bad. But it also throws out the hint that not having another baby wasn't by choice, so it might not be the best topic to pursue.

Some of my friends get up-in-arms when I tell them that people ask me the question on a pretty regular basis. But as much as I like to talk to people, and as much of an open book as my life is, people aren't being rude, they're just taking part in the conversation.

And I think I finally have an answer for them.