Thursday, December 1, 2011

Party-planning purgatory

I had an interesting conversation with some girlfriends this evening about kids' birthday parties.

I've never thought twice about inviting people to Biscuit's birthday parties who don't have kids of their own. Jeff and I have some friends who are planning to have kids but don't have them yet. And we also have friends who have chosen not to have children. 

Either way, they're all part of Biscuit's life, so I want them included in the celebrations and milestones.

We didn't have an official party for Biscuit's first birthday. We just had a small family gathering. But for his second and third birthdays, we invited a bunch of people to our house. We don't do anything fancy -- I make ham biscuits and some chippy dippy sort of stuff. And I have cupcakes and cheese puffs for the kids. 

As for activities, I don't really plan anything structured. We just bundle the kids up and let them play in the backyard. The adults do a lot of chatting and catching up, and the kids seem to have a good time, too. It's a cheap and easy party.

But tonight, we were talking about a friend whose son's birthday is in December -- a month during which the weather could be warm and sunny or cold and windy or even icy and snowy. She can't really plan anything for outside. So she ends up having to find party destinations. His first birthday party was at a children's museum here in town. This year it will be at one of the local bouncy-house-inflatable places.

So I guess what I realized is that although it's never been a question in my mind about inviting people with kids and people without for Biscuit's birthday parties, I have the luxury of an inexpensive party at my house, where everybody can just hang out and relax.

My friend, on the other hand, has to pay per person at the destination party sites, plus weigh whether her childless friends would even want to go to a place that's designed specifically for and caters to young children. It's a lot harder for the adults to relax and have a conversation when they are also trying to keep track of the young partygoers among all the other children.

It's a tough balance to strike because you don't want to leave anyone out, but at the same time, you don't want anyone to feel obligated to come to a party where it will be difficult for adults to have fun.

Who would've thought that a little kid's birthday could be so complicated?!?

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