Bathroom frustration

A post from The Daddy Man:

It's been a while since I posted anything here, but I'd like to remedy that with a rant.

I want to meet the germaphobic genius (insert dripping sarcasm here) who invented motion-detector toilets, no-touch faucets and automatic hand dryers and punch him or her in the nose.

The inventor must not have kids, especially not a toddler.

And here's how I know that.

1. The motion-detector toilet is very sensitive and inevitably flushes while my toddler is still doing his business. It scares the daylights out of him and completely interrupts any progress he might have been making.
2. The no-touch faucets have the tiniest sensors ever created. Combine tiny sensors with Biscuit's tiny hands, and you get an almost impossible hand-washing situation. It's hard enough trying to hold the boy up to the sink with one arm and hand and help him wash his hands with the other. Where am I supposed to get that third hand to keep the faucet sensor engaged?
3. The automatic hand dryers are loud ... very loud. And all you have to do to turn them on is walk in their general direction. And if you're 3 feet tall and happen to walk underneath one, it can be quite traumatizing.

What's so hard about faucet knobs, toilet flush handles and levers on paper towel dispensers, anyway?