Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Out of the mouth of my babe

A few things Biscuit has said recently:

Words are hard: When I was a kid, my aunt, uncle and cousins came down from Illinois for a visit.

My cousins, my brother and I were playing quite peacefully and very quietly, I'm sure. And my aunt said, in a scolding voice, "You kids better behave."

My reply, in a very innocent voice, was, "We ARE being have."

She started laughing at me, but I didn't understand what was funny. We were always told to "be have." You know, like "be good."

This past weekend, I realized that Biscuit inherited my confusion.

We were at an area the had small waterfalls and dips and steps under the water. Biscuit saw a sign there and asked me what it said.

"It says 'Beware of uneven or slick surfaces,'" I told Biscuit.

In a very serious voice, Biscuit said, "Mom, I don't think those people are being ware."

A trip through the car wash: A flock of birds decided that the red color of my car resembled a big ol' target recently. We were going to drive to the mountains the very next day, so I decided to go through a car wash.

Biscuit didn't really like car washes when he was little. The noises freaked him out. But this trip through brought out his theatrical side.

As soon as the undercarriage rinse started, Biscuit yelled out, "SURF'S UP, DUDE!!! Check out those waves!"

The soap squirted out over the car, and Biscuit yelled again. "It's snowing! We're in Antarctica!"

The final rinse started, and Biscuit hollered, "COWABUNGA, DUDE!!!"

Then there was a pause.

"Mom, just in case you didn't know, that's surfer talk," Biscuit said.

It's amazing how dumb he thinks I am!

New words: I was walking through the girls clothing at a local department store, looking for a cute shirt for my niece's birthday present. Jeff and Biscuit trailed behind me.

The clothing racks were close together, so as I walked through, Jeff and Biscuit had to take a detour ... right through the training bras.

Biscuit hasn't really said anything about boobs, breasts, ta-tas or any of the other names he might have heard along the way. But I know he's aware of them because when he and I are playing around, and it gets physical, I have to remind him to be gentle in that area.

Anyway, as Jeff and Biscuit strolled past the training bras, Biscuit pointed and said, "Look, Dad! Baby boobies!"

Jeff was a little shocked because he had never heard Biscuit say that before. I asked Jeff what he did or said.

"I just said, 'That's not nice, boy,' and kept on walking," Jeff said.

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