Saturday, August 30, 2014

New routine

I woke up this morning at 5:57 a.m. ... with no alarm set. And I'm happy about it.

Most people would think it's crazy to be happy about waking up so early, but to me, it means that my new schedule is kicking in. It's becoming the norm.

Mama came Sunday afternoon and left Thursday morning after we dropped off Biscuit at school. And I was sad to see her go. I think somehow it was easier making the new schedule work with her here. And she wasn't even doing anything except riding to school with me.

In 2008, when I called Mama to tell her I was going to the hospital to have Biscuit, she and Daddy packed up and got here about 3 hours later. It's a 2 1/2-hour drive. She stayed for three weeks. You'd think that we'd be tired of each other, but I cried when she left. It was really hard.

And Thursday morning, it was hard, too.

This feels like such a big change.

One day, when I was a lot younger, and single, and living in an apartment by myself, I stacked up all my monthly bills and added all the totals together. When I saw the total, I almost had a heart attack. It was such a huge number. And I can't imagine what possessed me to find out that number.

I made more than enough money to pay those bills, and I got paid twice a month and knew which check which bills would be paid from. But for some reason, even though I knew the money was there to pay for everything, seeing that big number was so scary.

Well, I had a similar moment Friday morning.

The alarm went off at 6 a.m., and it hit me like a flash. The new get-up time was not just for a week, or even a month. This will be my new getting-up time from now until Biscuit finished fifth grade.


It's overwhelming. And it's scary. But waking up on time without an alarm seems to be a good sign.

Monday is Labor Day, so the kids are out of school. So we'll start again Tuesday and see how it goes.

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