Out of the mouth of my babe

A few things Biscuit has said recently:

Beach rules: Jeff and I didn't know it, but apparently there are rules at the beach.

Our boy is such a creature of habit, that he has established routines for a trip we usually make once or twice a year!

Here are the things he says have to happen at the beach before we can come home:

1. We have to see dolphins in the ocean.
2. We have to play cards at night, preferably Uno and Phase Ten.
3. We have to buy, write and mail postcards to the grandmothers.
4. We have to build sandcastles.
5. We have to run from the waves.
6. We have to pick up pretty shells. Then put them all back.

And lucky us, we did all those things and then some.


He likes me better!: Biscuit and I were talking about birthdays and ages the other day, and I reminded him that he and I both have big birthdays this year.

In November, he will turn 10. Double digits.

And in July, I will turn 50! I know I'm supposed to be all depressed and have a mid-life crisis, but I'm excited. When I look back at my life so far, I've fit a crap-load of stuff into it.

"Dude, did you know that I'll turn 50 this year in July?" I asked Biscuit. "I'm old!"

"Mom," Biscuit said, clearly exasperated. "You're not old. You're just wise."

"Oooo, I like that," I said.

"But wait," I added, "that means dad is wiser than me because he's older than me."

"Weeeeelllll," Biscuit said, "that's not necessarily true, Mom. You're still the wisest."

"JEFF!!!" I hollered. "I'm wiser than you!"

Jeff hollered back, "Well, yeah."

Just as long as they remember that.



An explanation: Biscuit and I were sitting in the living room over the weekend, and every once in a while, I would sneeze.

"Dude, I been sneezing a lot today," I said to Biscuit.

"Mom," Biscuit said. "That's perfectly understandable. It's allergy season."

I wonder what it's like to be an old man in a 9-year-old's body.