Lunch buddies

I'm always trying to find cute but easy things to help me change up Biscuit's school lunches. (It would help if he wasn't so dang picky!)

So when I saw these cute little critter picks, I had to get some. 

As much as I like to peruse the internet and look at some of the fancy lunches, but I won't be making any ham roses or owl sandwiches anytime soon.

Nope! Not gonna do it.

Cute as it can be, but I'm not doing this one, either!

Besides, my boy will take a five-second look at it before he's chowing down!

Boy behavior

I knew Biscuit was a boy before we had the sex-revealing ultrasound. From the time I got pregnant until the day he was born, I only dreamed about boys and men. Except for one dream about my mama before I knew for sure I was pregnant.

And I just had this overwhelming feeling he was a boy.

Now secretly, I was thinking how fun it would be to have a little girl. The things we could do together. The cute dresses. The baby dolls.

But now, I can't imagine not having Legos and Hot Wheels cars.

And of course, he's at the age now where we're getting typical boy behavior. Farts are hilarious. Poop is funny. And those things are fine.

But what drives me crazy is the obnoxious stuff. The random noises. Holy-moley! It makes me want to shake him by the shoulders! He just walks around the house, talking to himself in funny voices and making weird noises. I remember my nephew doing the same thing, but I didn't have to be around him all the time. So I didn't want to shake him quite as badly!

Other things that drive me crazy include:

• Constantly trying to put bunny ears on people in photos
• Answering my questions in weird voices
• Dropping things in the exact place he's done using them
• Him saying, "I was gonna do that soon," when I remind him to do something, knowing he hadn't even thought about it
• Making faces at himself in the mirror when he's supposed to be brushing his teeth and getting ready for bed
• Not understanding that when I say to pick something up, it doesn't mean pick it up and promptly move it to a spot a few feet away

I'm sure I could keep going if I thought about it long enough.

See the rabbit ears on Jeff? By the look on his face, he must have felt them back there.

He does have the capability to be sweet!

Out of the mouth of my babe

A few things Biscuit has said recently:

Ethical career: Biscuit says that he's going to be an inventor when he grows up. He's been saying it for a long time. And he's come up with a few inventions that I wish he could make.

Sometimes he says things like, "When start my invention business, I'm going to tell everyone that if they buy one invention, they'll get one free."

Or "When start my invention business, I'm going to give away a lot of my inventions to people who really, really need them."

I haven't had the heart to tell him that some of his ideas are going to leave him broke!

But then out of nowhere, he turns around and says this, "When I run my invention business, everybody will be paid in equal shares. There will be no pyramid schemes."

What?! How the heck does he even know what a pyramid scheme is?!


Old soul: I've said before that I never knew what the term "old soul" really meant until I met Biscuit. And usually, it's most obvious when he speaks.

He and I were talking about the effect someone's attitude could have on someone else. Like if someone were being disrespectful for no reason.

And his response was, "You know, Mom, that could cause quite a tussle," Biscuit said.

A tussle? Yep. He's an 82-year-old man in a 9-year-old's body.


Mean ol, Daddy Man: While we were at the beach, Jeff and Biscuit were walking in the sand. You're not supposed to mess with the sea grass that's at the edge of the sand. It helps with erosion and other things.

Biscuit was walking back to the hotel for lunch, and he kept getting closer and closer to the grass.

See the swerving tracks right in the middle? That is caused by the wind. But that's not what Jeff told Biscuit!

"Dude," Jeff said to Biscuit, "you need to get away from that grass."

"Why?" Biscuit asked.

Now here's where Jeff could have said, "Well, the grass helps with sand erosion and provides a habitat for some small critters to live in, and it's worst enemy is humans."

But what did Jeff say? "Because those swerving tracks you see there are made by snakes that live in that grass."

Jeff said you should've seen Biscuit's face as he quickly stepped back away from the grass.

"Nah, I'm just teasing, dude," Jeff finally told him.

Parent-student conference

Normally, we have a couple of parent-teacher conferences each year, but of course with email, we have so much more contact with the teachers. But Biscuit's school does something interesting with grades 3-5 for the third-quarter conference.

They let the students lead their own conferences.

The kids spent a lot of time putting together a portfolio of things they've done in the third quarter. And although they didn't realize it, it's was actually a review, too.

They wrote up what they wanted to cover, and they were given a list of information they had to provide for the parents. Each student created a folder with his or her name on it with a descriptive anagram on the front. 

Biscuit had a sheet that he read to us saying that he was the teacher, and we needed to respect that. He was in charge. Then at the end, we had to fill out an evaluation and tell some things we learned from our child.

We met in the cafeteria, and we had to sit across from Biscuit as he talked to us. The teachers went up and down the rows checking on the students.

One of Biscuit's friends was sitting right beside us. As soon he and his dad sat down, the dad grabbed the folder, pulled out the checklist and started reading down it, telling the kid when he thought they had completed each step. I realize it was a lot faster than letting the kid take charge, but the whole point was that they were taking responsibility for their own work.

Anyway, here's Biscuit's folder:

Here's the checklist of everything Biscuit had to tell us about. It included directions such as:

Reading: Share your Reading and Writing Goal Sheet with your family. Discuss your current goals and how you chose them. Talk about how you can work toward your goals at home.

Math: Look at the 5 Minute Multiplication Quiz. Look at how many you got correct, which problems were tricky for you, and which were easy. Make a plan to continue to make improvements on math fact fluency.

Then Biscuit got to tell us about a project the class had been working on — the solar system.

As he explained what he had learned, he got really excited. He was waving his hands around, and had a really fun expression on his face like he was sharing something cool and brand-new with someone who had never heard of it.

I did have to laugh, though. I love the way Biscuit's brain works sometimes.

"And guys," he said, "think about this. The sun is the only star in our solar system. The stars that we see at night are in other systems. And they're so far away, all we can see is a little dot of stars."

"That's really cool," I said to him.

"But wait," he said. "Get this. If I were an alien in another solar system, and I was looking toward Earth, I would see the sun as a star. Can you believe that? Our sun would look like a tiny star to an alien. IT'S ABSURD!"

Just as he said "absurd," his teacher walked by and laughed. She stopped and talked for a couple of minutes.

We were really impressed with his conference.

Fun work lunch with Jeff

As you know, Jeff's job sometimes drives me crazy! Especially this year. I was really happy to see our local teams do so well, but that also means more and more games for him to cover as they make it to tournaments. And of course, that means more travel and time away from us.

But sometimes, his job offers fun opportunities. Like last Tuesday.

I was Jeff's plus-one at a luncheon put on by a local group that supports local sports and helps to bring sporting events to our city. I met a lot of people I've heard Jeff talk about. It was odd to have a picture in my head of what someone looked like, only to find out he or she didn't look anything like that.

The guest speaker was a local woman who is one of the best speedskaters in the world. Actually, Jeff said she is the best in the U.S. She won a bronze medal at the games that were in February.

And because Jeff has covered the heck out of her and her family, they asked him to introduce her. He was nervous. He feels a whole lot better writing than speaking in public!

We sat at the table with her and her parents. Her husband was trying to fly in from Amsterdam (where they live now) and was having trouble with his flights. So he couldn't make it to the luncheon.

But her parents were there, and they are just the nicest people. I think a lot of people assume that Olympic athletes come from money. But her parents live in a really small house, and her dad has had two jobs since she was a kid, mainly to help offset the cost of training and coaching. Her mom works hard, too.

It was funny to me because Jeff doesn't talk too much and was nervous about his introduction. And the skater is very shy, and she was nervous about her speech. But they both spoke from the heart and did a really good job.

There's an old saying, "There's no cheering in the pressbox," meaning that if you're covering a game, you can root for one team or the other. But as Jeff said in his introduction, "Sometimes you just enjoy seeing good things happen to good people."

Here's a picture of Jeff doing an interview with her and me holding her bronze medal. That thing was really heavy!

Shut it down

We had a tornado here Sunday evening. We were lucky and got no damage at all. But sadly, there were some homes, schools and other buildings that were ruined on the other side of town — in a not-rich neighborhood. One person died and several others were injured.

We heard the tornado warning, and I said to Biscuit, "Let's go. Tornado warning. Right now."

Biscuit freaked out a little bit, but I told him it was very unlikely that we would see one, but we needed to be careful just in case.

Jeff and I did the usual. We grabbed pocketbook and wallet, cellphones and chargers, laptops, tablets ... oh, and some actual useful things like shoes, flashlights and weather radio.

We have a half-bath in the center of the house with four solid walls and no windows. So we went there to hunker down. Jeff said he lucked out because he got to sit on the toilet. Biscuit sat cross-legged in front of Jeff, and I sat with my back against the door. Being short actually came in handy because with my legs straight out, my back touched the door, and my feet barely touched the vanity.

It was such a fast-moving storm, our tornado warning was only 15 minutes. We dragged our stuff out of the bathroom and went to look outside. The wind had blown like crazy, but we only had a few sticks lying around, no limbs or anything big.

Several schools were closed Monday and Tuesday while they figured out if they could open the schools back up or if they would need to shift kids to other places. So they cancelled school for the whole county so all the kids would ultimately have the same amount of days in school this year.

So I worked from home so I could stay with Biscuit.

Yesterday, I started working about 8:15. Biscuit was up, and Jeff was getting ready to go to the office. So I figured I'd just get going.

I was doing some mindless compiling from multiple websites. We have between 15 and 20 outdoor summer concert series, and I always run a roundup of them in early May. It's sort of mindless when you can just copy and paste from one place to another, so I completely lose track of time.

About 7:15 p.m., Biscuit walked up to me and said, "Mom, it's time to stop working now."

I was caught off guard, so I looked up and said, "What?"

"You started work at 8:15 this morning, and now it's 7:15 at night," he said. "It's time for you to stop."

"You know what?" I said. "You're right."

So I immediately closed my laptop. I hadn't even closed out of the programs I was using, but it seemed important to him to see me stop, so I did. And then after Biscuit went to bed, I went back and shut down my laptop properly.

My boy is very thoughtful sometimes.

Out of the mouth of my babe

A few things Biscuit has said recently:

Beach rules: Jeff and I didn't know it, but apparently there are rules at the beach.

Our boy is such a creature of habit, that he has established routines for a trip we usually make once or twice a year!

Here are the things he says have to happen at the beach before we can come home:

1. We have to see dolphins in the ocean.
2. We have to play cards at night, preferably Uno and Phase Ten.
3. We have to buy, write and mail postcards to the grandmothers.
4. We have to build sandcastles.
5. We have to run from the waves.
6. We have to pick up pretty shells. Then put them all back.

And lucky us, we did all those things and then some.


He likes me better!: Biscuit and I were talking about birthdays and ages the other day, and I reminded him that he and I both have big birthdays this year.

In November, he will turn 10. Double digits.

And in July, I will turn 50! I know I'm supposed to be all depressed and have a mid-life crisis, but I'm excited. When I look back at my life so far, I've fit a crap-load of stuff into it.

"Dude, did you know that I'll turn 50 this year in July?" I asked Biscuit. "I'm old!"

"Mom," Biscuit said, clearly exasperated. "You're not old. You're just wise."

"Oooo, I like that," I said.

"But wait," I added, "that means dad is wiser than me because he's older than me."

"Weeeeelllll," Biscuit said, "that's not necessarily true, Mom. You're still the wisest."

"JEFF!!!" I hollered. "I'm wiser than you!"

Jeff hollered back, "Well, yeah."

Just as long as they remember that.



An explanation: Biscuit and I were sitting in the living room over the weekend, and every once in a while, I would sneeze.

"Dude, I been sneezing a lot today," I said to Biscuit.

"Mom," Biscuit said. "That's perfectly understandable. It's allergy season."

I wonder what it's like to be an old man in a 9-year-old's body.

The last of the beach

It was a tragedy! I let Jeff pick out the dinner restaurants, and the first one he wanted to go to was one we've been to every time we've gone to that beach. Well, except for once when it had hurricane damage, and they were remodeling it.

So we were both excited to get there.

Until we pulled into the parking lot.

We could see through the windows that all the chairs were stacked on top of the tables, and there was a For Sale sign in the parking lot.

Noooooo!!!!!!!

So we tried a new eating spot that had been recommended by a couple of our friends. They both love restaurants, so we figured it was a pretty good bet.

The place has "mosquito" in the name, so we should have expected the swampy-looking decor.

Swampy with a touch of Easter.

And portraits of hungry skeeters!

We splurged and got dessert. This is our boy discovering chocolate creme brulee.

The outside decor was fun, too. I thought this border of real plates was cute, and then I noticed the sign - "Great Wall of China." Very clever.

There was quite a wait, so Jeff and Biscuit took a turn at corn hole.

I thought this was a pretty view, so I told Biscuit to stand against the railing. But the railing slanted back, and it left him in a weird post with his chin tucked in.

"Dude!" I said. "Stand up straight!" And the photo below is what I got.

While the boys were walking on the beach, I painted my toenails this pretty lavender color. When they got back, I asked them what they thought (like they have actual thoughts about toenail colors!).

"Pretty," Jeff said.

"Mom!" Biscuit said. "You have Easter egg toes!"

I can't remember how we took this photo or why it was so red, but I told him this was Evil Biscuit.

I woke up really early one morning, and it took everything I had not to jump up and down on the bed telling him to get up!

And him, too!

And last but certainly not least, we had to stop by one of the 58 beach stores within a mile on the main part of the island. Where I grew up, we lived a little over 2 hours from the beach, so sometimes we'd go for the day and come home that evening. And sometimes we would stay a while.

The first time I took Jeff to that beach, we drove down the Grandstrand, and I pointed out all the hotels I've stayed in. I didn't realize quite how many there had been!

Anyway, since Jeff grew up in the mountains, the beach still fascinates him. And when I say that, I mean the ocean, the sand, the seafood, and yes, the tacky souvenir shops. 

More of the beach

How in the world did a week just go by?!

I made you wait a week before you could see more of the beach!

I sat out on the balcony reading and people-watching while Jeff and Biscuit took a walk.

Showing off their beach finds.

This was a cool illusion. It looks like Biscuit is buried up to his chest. Really, there's a ridge in the sand.

Birdies.

It's funny how the sky and water are so colorful, but the sand and sea grass are so bland.

Biscuit and Scratchers the river otter. He loves to sleep with stuffed animals, but it's not really cool to let everyone know.

Full moon over the ocean.

So many shades of blue.

WE SAW A WHALE!!!!! See the spray that just came out of its blowhole? We thought it was a dolphin at first, but the we got a better look at the size of it. It's only the second time we've seen a whale at that beach.

And we saw dolphins, too.

Like father like son.

I got tickled when I saw them because all I could think of was Forrest Gump and his son.

Better beach

The last time the three of us went to the beach, Jeff had pneumonia and couldn't possibly have enjoyed it. 

The only positive for him was that our room was oceanfront, so he could see the ocean from his sickbed. Poor Dad had to watch from the balcony as Biscuit and I built sandcastles and collected shells.

That was in November 2016, just before we had an onslaught of illness (Jeff, Biscuit and me) and two surgeries (Jeff and me). So we didn't go at all in 2017.

Biscuit asked several times if we could go, but we just couldn't make it work.

So I decided after all of Jeff's traveling for basketball, we would use Biscuit's Spring Break to take a family trip.

Then I looked at the calendar and realized that the Monday of Spring Break was media day for our local minor league baseball team — you know, the one Jeff covers. And Thursday was their first game — and Jeff would have to be there, too. So a Spring Break trip was out.

Biscuit was out of school for Good Friday, so I thought that if we picked him up just as soon as school ended, we could already have the car packed and just hit the road for a long weekend.

And this was despite the fact that Thursday was Crazy Hair Day, and Biscuit was sporting flaming red locks! 

We ended up getting him a haircut before we left town, and the stylist washed all the color out.

Then I remembered that Biscuit was supposed to be going to my parents' house that weekend to start his Spring Break.

I was beginning to get pretty frustrated.

I sat down and looked at a map, trying to find a place we could meet my parents Sunday afternoon to swap off the boy. I found a good spot they could get to in a little over an hour. But it was going to add two hours onto our trip.

I told Jeff about it, and in typical Jeff fashion, he said, "Let's do it." Sometimes he takes the jumble of mess in my brain and turns it into something logical!

We got to the beach late Thursday evening. We stayed at the same hotel as the pneumonia trip, but we were surprised to see the rooms had gotten a nice makeover.

I think as soon as we saw the ocean, time just started moving more slowly. We relaxed, and I reminded Jeff and Biscuit that we didn't have any plans, so we weren't going to hurry anywhere. I brought food for breakfast and lunch, so we could bum around from the time we got up until dinnertime.

Catching up

Let's get caught up, shall we?

Biscuit has been a busy, busy boy.

He had his second piano competition, his best school friend's birthday party, an Easter trip to the beach, and now, spring break at his grandparents' house.

Firstly, I think he may have learned his lesson at the last piano competition because he practiced and practiced and practiced before the March 24 event.

And it paid off. He got a Superior. He was quite pleased with himself.

Here he is with his certificate:

For Biscuit's treat, he chose a really tasty bakery. Jeff and I each got a slice of cake, and Biscuit got a brownie to eat there and a chocolate chip cookie to take home.

The bakery is busy all the time. We had to stand in a line out the door for our treats. They actually bought out the store next to them to create some dining space. It had some banquettes with tables and chairs, a couple of big couches beside a fireplace, a big dining room-type table and a booth built into a cute little room all its own. That's where we had to sit.

We requested a morning time slot for the competition because Biscuit's best school friend was having his birthday at a local bowling alley. I say "bowling alley," but it's really a bowling alley, laser tag, video game, pizza place.

They had a two-sided chalkboard at the front door to tell partygoers where each part was. Both sides of that board were FULL! And those were just the parties that went until 4 p.m. There was a whole other list to be made after that for the evening parties. The whole place was crazy full of kids — some I liked, some I wanted to shake by the shoulders!

Before you see the pictures, though, I'll tell you that Biscuit almost didn't make it out alive.

We were getting ready to leave, and I saw Biscuit walking toward the door. I assumed he was waiting for us just outside the door. But as Jeff and I walked out to leave, Biscuit was nowhere to be found.

Jeff and I and the birthday-boy's parents and grandparents all scattered out to look for him.

The bathrooms were all the way at the end of the room, so I headed down that way first. And sure enough, just as I arrived, Biscuit was walking out of the men's room.

I grabbed him by the shoulders and did some of that whisper-yelling. You know, keeping my voice down so I wouldn't draw any attention, while at the same time threatening him within an inch of his life if he ever wandered off again without telling somebody!

But I think all the kids had fun. And that includes my big kid — Jeff.

I guess all the drama got to him because Biscuit hadn't been home for an hour before he was sacked out on the couch for a nap.