Missing out

Besides marrying Jeff, having Biscuit is the best thing I've even done. No question.

But ... there are times when I feel like I'm missing out.

Jeff and I love movies. We used to see at least one movie per weekend, sometimes two. In the past two years, I think I've seen about 10 movies total at the theater. We get DVDs and watch TV, but it's not the same.

We also used to see a good many music shows around our area. I took Jeff to a concert last week as part of his Christmas present. Other than that, the last music show we saw together was when I was pregnant, more than 2 years ago.

But the thing that has bothered me most lately is that I don't get to keep up with friends as much anymore. I have a regularly scheduled gathering with three girlfriends, but with conflicting schedules lately, that meeting hasn't happened as often. Friends' lives are continuing as usual, but I'm out of the loop.

I don't have time to keep up with the social networks. I don't text. Cell phone calls are usually kept to a few short minutes. And spur-of-the-moment coffee dates, all-day shopping trips or scheduled spa treatments are almost non-existent.

Need proof? Two of my friends went together and got me a gift card for an "ultimate pedicure" for my birthday. My birthday is in July. I got the spa treatment last week ... by taking a vacation day. But boy was it worth it. My toes are the shiny red of the glass Christmas balls on our tree!

But ultimately, the disappointment I occasionally feel about my lack of social interaction is no comparison to how I feel when I look at Biscuit's sleeping face or when he hugs my leg and says, "I love you, Mom."

It's a trade off, but it's absolutely one I'd make over and over again.

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I just had this conversation with Jeff after reading him this post:

Jeff: What worries you about the post?

Me: It sounds like a pity party. And I hate pity parties.

Jeff: I don't think it sounds that way. It just says how you feel.

Me: Well, I guess the ending is the important party. It isn't just about me anymore. Life is different now, but it's good.