In Biscuit's life so far, I have been in charge. Not in a dictator way, but in that I choose his meals, pick out his clothes and make all the other daily decisions that keep him safe and healthy.
Last night, he had a bad dream. He started tossing and turning and then shouted out, "Nooooooo!"
It was scary. In that moment, I couldn't protect him. I couldn't fix the thing that was upsetting him.
And I realized that it was a small taste of days to come.
I want my Biscuit to be independent. I want him to make decisions small and large - from "I'd like to have oatmeal for breakfast" to "I think I've decided what my career will be."
But wow ... it's going to be hard to watch it happen. Any one of those decisions could get him hurt in some way. Any one of those decisions could leave him disappointed or sad or upset and that already breaks my heart.
There's a great term for those mothers who constantly hover over their kids ... helicopter moms. I know some of those moms. I don't want to be one of those moms. I think they do more harm than good because instead of guiding their kids, they smother them. But I tell you what, I understand the desire to do it. I can see how it happens. And I'm already fighting the urge to be that way with my own son.
I've worked hard to surround Biscuit with all the family and friends I can. I want him to know that whatever he does and wherever he goes and whatever he decides, he has a large group of people supporting him and loving him, no matter what. People who will be there when he needs them, even if he makes a decision they don't agree with.
And as I think about all the people in Biscuit's life so far, I think he has a pretty good start.
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