Thursday, March 19, 2009

"It's just a bit of poo!"

Biscuit fell asleep about 7 p.m. last night after fighting tooth and nail to try to stay awake. So when he woke up about 10:15, he was quite ready to eat. I was tired and ready to go to bed, but Jeff was finishing up some work stuff.

So I changed Biscuit into his night clothes (a short-sleeved onesie with a sleep sack over it), fixed a bottle and settled into the rocking chair in our bedroom. I had my Boppy around my waist and a burp cloth on my shoulder, everything moving right along as usual.

Then I heard this grunting noise and thought, “Oh great! He’s going to mess up his diaper, and I’m going to have to change it. I’m tired. I’m sleepy. And the last thing I want to deal with is a diaper full of poo!”

I always wait a minute or two before I change a messy diaper, just to make sure the job is done.
So I got up from the rocker and spread out one of our waterproof changing pads on the bed. I started to unzip the sleepsack and felt something wet and slimy on my hand.

HULL BREACH!!!! HULL BREACH!!!!!

The inside of Biscuit's onesie and sleepsack were covered with liquid poo! It was all over his legs and feet.

So I did what any good mom would do, I yelled for my husband. “Jeff! Help!”

Jeff came into the bedroom, and I swear, two grown, college-educated adults stood there dumbfounded for a minute before we could even begin to take care of this mess. There’s a line in the movie “Johnny English” where Rowan Atkinson says (in a very proper British accent), “Oh, do get it off. It’s just a bit of poo.” And that line was more than a little appropriate for that moment.

So we formulated a plan of attack, which included about 10 minutes of getting the poor child undressed while trying to contain the mess. Then he had to get a bath at 11:15 at night!

Meanwhile, I just happened to glance up at Biscuit's face, and he had this HUGE grin on his face.

Right then, I knew that although the past couple of weeks have been really rough, and I’m tired, stressed out and generally all-around grumpy, having this little critter has made such a huge difference over the past four months. He has changed my whole outlook on life.

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