Three is a magic number

One-and done. It’s a popular phrase out there these days for couples who have chosen to have only one child. Jeff and I didn’t plan to be one-and-done, but unfortunately, that will be our fate. 

It took us three years and one miscarriage to get Biscuit. The process wasn’t fun and included fertility drugs, a lot of frustration and a lot of sadness and disappointment.

So we were very nervous when we decided to try to add another child to our family.

The good thing this time is that we weren’t starting from scratch. Before I got pregnant with Biscuit, my doctor and I figured out that I had some problems that made it a longshot for me to get pregnant. But we lucked out and got the right combination of drugs and treatments, and then Biscuit was on the way.

We tried all the same stuff this time, but it didn’t work. And now, I’ve taken all the drugs I can, and any of the other treatments have really high chances of multiple babies. We wanted ONE more baby, not several.

We’re sad. We’re disappointed. I think Jeff is handling it better than I am. Quite frankly, I’m pretty bitter about it right now just because we’re in a good position to have another child. We have jobs, a house, family and friends, and most importantly, each other. What else does a kid need?

The thing that’s helping me get through this is that I already have Biscuit. He is more than I could have ever hoped for. He is loving and smart and so, so cute. He drives us crazy and amazes us all at the same time.

Even though Biscuit was desperately wanted, we were so scared before he got here. We were convinced we would be terrible parents, and we would have no idea what we were doing. You know what we’ve learned? We’re pretty good parents, even though we don’t have any idea what we’re doing.

I’m sorry Biscuit won’t have the experience of a sibling. I’m sorry that when he’s older and completely frustrated with Jeff and me, he won’t have that sibling to complain to – that person who has had the shared experience of having Jeff and me as parents.

There’s no rule about how many people it takes to make a family. Even though it hasn’t turned out exactly as we planned, our family number will be three.