Out of the mouth of my babe

A few recent comments from Biscuit:


Monster removal: "Mom. There's a green monster next to the bed," Biscuit said to me on a recent night.

Apparently, the monster has been there for a couple of days now because every time he and I have been in our bedroom, he has told me that the monster is on my side of the bed.

I walked over to the side of the bed and started shooing my hands and said, "Get outta here, Green Monster."

Biscuit just smiled.

Monsters are easier to get rid of than I thought they'd be.


The nose knows: "Something smells," Biscuit will say to us.

"Does it smell good or smell bad?" we'll ask.

He'll usually answers, but even so, I can't get him to understand that just saying something smells is sort of rude.


Makes sense to me: "In baseball, you have home runs. In football, you have touchdowns," I said to Biscuit this morning.

"Touchdowns?" Biscuit asked.

"Yes, touchdowns" I said, and held my arms straight up like referees do when they call a touchdown.

"But your arms are up, Mom. It's not a touchdown because your arms are up. It's a touch up, Mom, not a touchdown."

I never really thought about it before, but the logic makes perfect sense.


Stream of consciousness: As Jeff was helping Biscuit brush his teeth this morning, he said, “Are you ready for me to check your teeth, dude?”

Biscuit said to him, “No. I’m not dude. I’m Griffin. Can you say that, Dad? Griffin. Grif. Fin. Say it, Dad. Grif. Fin. My name is Grif. Fin. No. I’m not a shark. I don’t have a fin. Sharks have fins. I’m not Grif. Fin. I’m Griffin. Sharks have fins.


Shapes: Biscuit knows all his shapes, including oval and rhombus. Rhombus starts with R. R-r-r-rhombus. Oh, wait, where was I?

Oh yeah, shapes.

Anyway, last night, Biscuit said, “Circles are round, Dad. They don’t have any sides. Squares have sides, but circles don’t have sides.”

Just to carry on the conversation, Jeff said, “Don’t they have one side?”

Biscuit said, “No, Dad. No sides. Circles have no sides. Squares have sides. Circles don’t have sides. They're round.”

He seems to think that the more he repeats something, the truer it gets.

One day, Biscuit was practicing his letters, and he said, "R makes r-r-r sound. Like race cars."

"Or rooster," I said.

"No, Mom. Rooster not start with R," he said with a lot of attitude. "P-p-p-rooster."

I argued for a little while, but sometimes, you just have to choose your battles.

The funny thing is that even though Biscuit argues at the time, 9 times out of 10, the next time the subject comes up again, he's changed his answer.

Just the other day, I asked him if he could tell me some words that start with R.

"Yes. R-r-race car. R-r-rhombus. R-r-rocket. R-r-rooster," he said.

Smart and stubborn. I think this child is going to give us a run for our money.