Out of the mouth of my babe

A few things Biscuit has been saying recently:

I was lost: Jeff, Biscuit and I went shopping the other night, and as we got to the farthest point away from the bathrooms, Biscuit said, "I have to pee."

Well of COURSE you do.

Jeff told me to keep shopping, and he took Biscuit.

When they came out of the bathroom, Biscuit said that he and Jeff needed to look for me because I was lost. The first place he could think of that I might be was the toy department. Enter ulterior motives.

When I finally called Jeff's cellphone and told him I was checking out, he grabbed Biscuit and headed to the front of the store.

"Mom! We couldn't find you," Biscuit said. "We looked on the row with the firetrucks. And we looked on the row with the cars. And we looked on the row with the Legos. We just looked all the where, Mom."

 

But not the birds: Biscuit and Jeff sing the Red Robin commercial song all the time … Reeeeed Robin … YUM!

We drove right past the place the other night, and Jeff said the first part, waiting for Biscuit to chime in with "Yum!" 

But Biscuit said, “Guys, you can’t eat a robin. Robins are birds, and that would be nasty.”

“Chickens are birds,” I said. “But you love chicken.”

“That’s different, Mom,” he said, with as much attitude as a 13-year-old. 

But about 10 seconds later, Biscuit said, "Dad ... Reeeeed Lobster ... YUM!" 

I guess you can't eat robins, but lobsters are okay.

Be nice: Biscuit was in the middle of a pouting fit the other night. I made him sit on the couch for a while until he decided he should do what I told him to do, and he was not liking it at all.

I figured he'd been there long enough, plus I was eating an ice cream cone, and I could tell he wanted a bite. I held the cone out in his direction, and I was a little surprised by his response.

"I'm not going to eat any of your ice cream until you ask me," Biscuit said in a really whiny tone.

I humored him and asked, "Would you like a bite of my ice cream cone?"

"Mom, you have to ask nicely," he said, except he stretched nicely into three syllables (nice-uh-ly).

I know I shouldn't have indulged him, but he was so sincere, I couldn't help it. Of course, I also had to turn my head for a minute before I asked him or I would've laughed in his face.

Dangerous weather: We had a quick thunderstorm that moved through here this evening. Biscuit came walking into the living room looking all serious.

"It's not allowed to watch TV when the thunder is too close, Mom," Biscuit said while wagging his finger back and forth. "It's just dangerous, Mom."

 

I know that guy: Jeff and Biscuit have watched "She Wore a Yellow Ribbon" about 1,000 times. John Wayne stars in the movie as Captain Nathan Brittles, but ever since the first time Biscuit saw it, he calls him Captain Nathan Griddles. 

Biscuit doesn't understand that the people in the movie are just actors, so when he saw John Wayne in another movie, he was surprised.

 

"DAD! Who is that man?" Biscuit asked.

"That's John Wayne," Jeff said.

 

"John Wayne sounds just like Captain Nathan Griddles," Biscuit said.

"Yes, he does," Jeff said, and he offered no explanation. Biscuit will figure it out soon enough, but for now, we'll let him keep his discovery.

Ick ... just ick: Biscuit found a lizard-looking action figure on the ground at the picnic we went to Sunday. Nobody claimed it, so he brought it home. 

As we were leaving, Biscuit asked, "Dad, what's this guy's name?" 

And without missing a beat, Jeff said, "His name is E. coli." 

Now, Griffin is running around saying things like, "Mom, look! I've got E. coli," or "Mom, would you like to hold E. coli?" or "Mom, watch E. coli jump off the table onto these firefighters."

Let me just say that E. coli has been through our dishwasher.