Out of the mouth of my babe

A few things Biscuit has said recently:

What's in a name? Biscuit's repertoire of names has grown immensely since he named his stuff puppy, um, Puppy. And he now understands first, middle and last names, like how the three of us have different first and middle names but the same last name.

Biscuit got a stuffed bear for Christmas, and I was hoping the bear was going to get a cool, creative name.

"So what did you decide to name your bear?" I asked Biscuit right after Christmas.

"Um, his name is (pause for dramatic effect) ... Teddy," Biscuit said.

Since several of Biscuit's other stuffed animals get name changes fairly regularly, I figured I'd check in and see if the bear had a new name yet.

"Is his last name the same as ours?" I asked Biscuit.

"No. His first name is Teddy, and his last name is Bear," Biscuit said.

"Well, you have three names. Does Teddy have three names?" I asked him.

"Yes," Biscuit said. But instead of taking our last name, Biscuit decided that Teddy should take his middle name. "His whole name is Teddy Sterling Bear."


Good choice: We were riding home from a restaurant the other night with a couple of different conversations going on in the car. My mother-in-law and I were in the front, and as Biscuit said, "All the boys are in the back."

We were talking about how more dads are getting custody of kids in divorce cases, and specifically in cases when the mom just up and leaves.

"I hate that for the kids," I said.

"Mom! Did you say you hate those kids?" Biscuit asked.

"No! Of course not!" I said to Biscuit. "I said I hate it FOR the kids."

He wanted to know what I was talking about, and I was suddenly dreading having to figure out how to explain divorce to my 5-year-old.

"Well, sometimes moms and dads decide they don't want to live together anymore, so the mom lives in one house, and the dad lives in a different house, and the kids go back and forth from house to house so they can't spend time with their moms and their dads," I explained to Biscuit.

"Mom! It would drive me CRAZY if Dad didn't live with you and me anymore!" Biscuit said.

I couldn't help but laugh a little bit.

"Jeff, did you hear that?" I said. "The boy has decided his custody arrangement. He's staying with me."

"That doesn't surprise me," Jeff said.

So I said to Biscuit, "Tell Dad to behave himself, and we'll let him keep living with us."

"Yeah, Dad," Biscuit said. "Behave yourself, and you can keep living with me and Mom."