Out of the mouth of my babe

A few things Biscuit has said recently:


Name that teamer: "Mom, we're playing baseball. I'm the Yankees, and Dad is the white team," Biscuit said.

"Why doesn't Dad's team get a name?" I asked him.

"He DOES have a name," Biscuit said. "He's the white team."

A minute went by, then Biscuit said, "Mom, what are the Yankees teamers' names?"

"George and Henry," I said.

"Mooooom," Biscuit said, in his best mom-you're-crazy voice. "They can't just be George and Henry. Everyone knows there's 10 of 'em."

"Well, you tell me what their names are," I said.

"Well, let's see ... there's George and Henry, and George and Henry, and George and Henry, and George and Henry, and George and Henry," Biscuit said.

He said five sets of George and Henry to make 10. That sounds like higher math to me.


Secret agent man: Biscuit watched a cartoon movie with a car who was a secret agent. Ever since then, he's been asking questions and talking about them.

"Mom, are secret agents real?" Biscuit asked.

"Yes, there are real secret agents," I told him.

"Where do they live?" Biscuit asked.

"Well, there are secret agents all over the world, but I guess where they live is a secret," I said. "That way, no bad guys can find them."

"Do they have a house AND a secret hideout?" Biscuit asked.

"Probably," I said. "They probably live with their family in their house, but they do their work in their secret hideout." I was getting worried by this point because these questions were getting harder, and I was running out of answers.

"Mom, how do you become a secret agent?" Biscuit asked.

"They get lots of special training," I said.

"Is their special training about how to hide well?" Biscuit asked.

"I think they get training in lots of different things, including hiding well," I said.

"Can I be a secret agent?" Biscuit asked.

"Well, that's something you'll have to decide once you're a grownup," I said.

"Would that be my career, Mom?" Biscuit asked. They talked about careers at day care the previous week.

"Yes, if you choose to be a secret agent as your job, that will be your career," I said.

"But Mom, I think I'd rather be a Ninja Turtle as my career," Biscuit said.

"Well, remember that Ninja Turtles are just characters," I told him.

"Yeah, I remember," Biscuit said. "But just for today, we'll pretend that they're real. Okay?"

"Okay," I said. "That sounds like a good plan."


Big brain boy: "Dad, what's a genius?" Biscuit asked.

"A genius, boy, is somebody who's super-super smart," Jeff told him.

"Dad, are you a genius?" Biscuit asked.

"No. I'm pretty smart, but I'm not a genius," Jeff said. "Geniuses are super smart."

Biscuit thought about it for a couple of seconds, and said, "Dad, I'm a genius!"

And he's humble, too.