A day for the grownups

Jeff, my in-laws and I went to the movies today. Jeff and I were off work for the holiday, and without any guilt or bad feelings, I dropped Biscuit off at day care, then did a few errands, then went to see a movie. A grownup movie. With grownup actors in it. A live-action movie that didn't involve any cartoon characters at all!

On Friday, I told a friend at work that I was taking Biscuit to day care today so I could go to a movie.

She said, "So much for the new mama who cried every day for the first two weeks he went to day care."

And she's right.

When Biscuit was 12 weeks old, he started going to day care. And I did cry every morning for about two weeks. I couldn't stand the thought of leaving him with people I didn't know. I couldn't stand the thought of not being with him all day.

But this morning, I had no problem at all dropping him off and doing exactly what I wanted to do.

That doesn't mean I love him less than I did when he first started day care. As a matter of fact, I think I love him more because I've gotten to know him as a real-live little person with his own thoughts and quirks and ideas. 

I love the person he is. He's sensitive and smart and great with words. He makes us laugh all the time -- sometimes WITH him, but mostly AT him. He has a great imagination and loves to learn new things. He gets really excited over the simplest things, and his excitement is totally and completely contagious to anyone around him.

I could go on and on ... but that's my job. I'm his Mama.

But even after listing many of the things I love about him, I can still say that I had no problem dropping him off this morning to go have some fun.

I think having time to myself every once in a while makes me a better parent. It's sort of like how the flight attendants tell you on the plane to put your own oxygen mask on before you put a mask on the kid. You can't help the kid if you pass out from lack of oxygen.

The same goes with having time to myself. If I don't have some time to myself to watch a TV show or go to a movie or have dinner with a friend, I find myself on edge, more impatient and generally not as fun to be around. I have to take care of myself to be able to take good care of Biscuit.

This is very much a work in progress because there's a lot of guilt involved in taking time for yourself. But I'm working on it. And some day, I hope I can look back and feel that I did the best I could.

Oh yeah, the movie was really good, too.