Questionable parenting

We spent most of the day outside yesterday. When we came inside, we barely had time to get lunch for Biscuit before naptime.

After his nap, I stuck Biscuit in the shower with Jeff, as I picked out some slouchy clothes for him to wear.

I grabbed a tie-dyed shirt he made in his day care class last year and a pair of knit shorts. 

The shorts were acceptable, but before I even got down the stairs, Biscuit looked up and said, "Mom, I don't want to wear that colorful shirt. That shirt is too colorful, Mom."

"This shirt is fine," I said. "It's just a T-shirt. You won't even be wearing it that long before it's time for jammies."

"No, Mom," Biscuit said. "I just don't like that shirt. The colors are too bright. I don't want to wear that colorful shirt."

I was tired from doing a lot of yardwork, and my patience was wearing thing. So I said, "You know what? If you don't want what I picked out for you, go find something yourself."

That'll teach him, I thought to myself. He doesn't even know which drawer his short-sleeved shirts are in. Plus, I don't think he can reach that drawer anyway!

Yes, I know. Very adult thoughts for me to have. But I was tired and didn't need any lip from a 3-year-old.

Biscuit stood there for a minute, then said, "These shorts are okay, Mom. I like blue. And these underwear are okay, too. I just want a different shirt."

"Fine. Then go find one," I said.

Biscuit walked up the stairs, across the loft and into his room. I had turned the TV on in the living room and was distracted by whatever I was watching. Then I heard Biscuit coming back down the stairs.

Actually, he announced his descent ... something we've asked him to do, so we know when he's going up or down. He's had the stairs mastered for quite a while, but that's actually the problem. He sees no danger and sometimes comes close to tumbling down only because he's not paying attention to what he's doing.

 

So imagine my surprise when Biscuit came into the living room in the process of putting on a short-sleeved T-shirt. Not only did he find the drawer that holds his short-sleeved shirts, he picked out a shirt that matched his shorts!

"I like THIS shirt, Mom," Biscuit said. "This shirt is green, and it has blue on it like the blue on my shorts."

I couldn't decide whether to roll my eyes because he figured it out on his own without having to ask my help or congratulate him on doing such a good job of being independent AND matching his clothes.

This morning, Jeff and I were still in bed when we heard the clicking sound of the baby gate at the door of Biscuit's room. Then we heard the scrubbing sound of the step stool Biscuit uses in the upstairs bathroom.

Biscuit had opened the baby gate (which he's never done before) and went in to use the bathroom.

Once again, I was wondering how to handle the situation. On the one hand, Biscuit took the baby gate down, and he isn't supposed to do that. But on the other hand, he knew he needed to use the bathroom, so instead of going in the pull-up he was wearing, he wanted to go to the bathroom.

The baby gate is there for Biscuit's safety, but the fact that Biscuit realized he needed to go the bathroom is a big deal, too.

So what do I do? Scold him for taking down the gate or congratulate him for getting to the bathroom? Same dilemma as the shirt. Scold him for not wearing what I picked out or congratulate him for finding his shirts and picking out one he wanted.

I've found that teaching Biscuit right from wrong has been pretty black and white. Treat other people well. Share. Don't hit or bite. Take care of your toys.

But nowadays, things are getting more complicated. Trying to figure out a response to situations isn't as simple. Of course, nobody said parenting was simple.