Out of the mouth of my babe

Some funny things Biscuit has been saying lately:

Story time: Biscuit doesn't get the difference between "read" and "tell." So when he wants you to tell him a story, he'll say, "Dad, can you read me 'The Three Billy Goats Gruff'?"

It doesn't sound that odd when you're sitting in the living room with a vast library of kid books on the bottom shelf of the coffee table. But it's a little disconcerting to hear the request as you're driving down the road.

The Big Apple: Biscuit walked by the TV as a city skyline appeared on the screen. 

"Hey. Is that New York City?" he asked. It was actually Chicago, but at this age, I didn't really see the point in arguing about it.

"Yep," I said. "It's a big, big city."

I'm not sure where he heard about New York City, but seeing as he's said it more than once, I'm guessing he thinks all large city skylines are NYC.

A new song: "MOM! MOM! My friend Darius taught me a new song about dogs!" Biscuit yelled.

"Can you sing it for me?" I asked him.

"Sure," he said. "It goes like this ... 'Who let the dogs out, roof, roof, roof, roof, roof."

Wait until I see Darius again!

Twisted fairy tale: Biscuit asked Jeff if he would "read" him the story about Jack and the Beanstalk. Jeff said he would, then he launched into the story.

Jeff decided to skip the part where it talks about "the blood of an Englishman." Biscuit doesn't miss much, and he's pretty in tune with language. So if he hears something that catches his attention, he will ask about it. I think it's cool that he understands as much as he does, but it can be exhausting answering all the questions he comes up with during any regular conversation.

Allow me to interrupt myself by saying that we've taught Biscuit to say "excuse me" if he wants to say something while we're talking. He's really good about doing it, but he doesn't quite understand that he should say "excuse me" once then wait for us to see what he wants. Right now, he just says "excuse me" over and over again, usually getting a little louder each time. Good manners take time, I guess.

Anyway, Jeff said he thought the "blood of an Englishman" part might require an explanation, and he just didn't want to go there. But Biscuit knew something was missing.

"The giant said 'Fee, fie, foe, fum,'" Jeff said.

"Excuse me, Dad. You missed a part," Biscuit said. "You're supposed to say, 'Fee, fie, foe, fum, I smell a bowl of Englishman.'"